“More and more I feel like I’m doing a really bad impersonation of myself.” —Chuck Palahniuk
shall i compare thee to a summer’s day
thou art sweaty and warm and disgusting please go away
- Me: If I had a penis, I'd name it Vlad--after Vlad the Impaler.
- Tyler: Then when you have a boner, you can say, "Vlad to see you!"
- Me: I could sell my cat because everyone wants her and I'd make a lot of money, but I'd never do that.
- Chris: Oh, so you're selling by the pound?